


Progress

by glitterbb



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, HIV/AIDS, M/M, Plothole Fill, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:45:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16604339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterbb/pseuds/glitterbb
Summary: Oliver finds out he's undetectable and there's only one person he knows who'll understand.





	Progress

**Author's Note:**

> Since we got the episode with Oliver revealing his status to his mother, I was kinda pissed they haven't had more scenes addressing milestones in Oliver's journey since he's been diagnosed. This idea has been playing around in my mind for a while so have this 'kinda-coda' set in S3. (I'm thinking somewhere around Episode 4/5)

The knock on the door was frantic yet familiar. Four quick raps that still made Oliver's heart flutter whenever he heard them, even now. 

Usually they were a sign of forgotten keys for the third time in a week, or a lack of patience at the end of a long day, or sometimes, if Oliver was lucky, an insatiable desire for sex. 

Now they seemed to symbolise something greater. A reminder of what Oliver had chosen to give up, of questionable choices... of a sprinkling of regret. 

The older man pulled the door back slowly, Connor pacing agitatedly on the other side, jumping slightly as he caught sight of Oliver peering around the door. His hair was mussed and wild from where he'd no doubt been dragging fingers through it all day, shirt collar pulled open, tie no doubt discarded in the bottom of the bag thrown haphazardly over his shoulder. 

Oliver stepped aside, leaving the door open, allowing Connor to follow him in without invite. 

"I'm so sorry," Connor spluttered, as if he was out of breath. No doubt having run up the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. "Annalise kept us late." 

The all too familiar excuse fell easily from his lips as he closed the door behind them. So familiar it made Oliver's chest ache. Connor shrugged his bag from his shoulder, dropping it down near the door as he followed Oliver across the room, a frenetic air pulsating from his body. 

"I came as soon as I got your message." His voice was fraught, eyes slightly resembling a rabbit caught in headlights, but Oliver shrugged it off. He knew Connor. No doubt a sign of not enough sleep and one too many Adderall. He never did know how to look after himself. "Is everything okay? What did the consultant say?"

Oliver stopped dead, turning back, a smile playing on his lips. 

"I never told you I saw the consultant?" He smirked, folding his arms, eyebrow cocked expectantly. 

Connor stilled, closing his eyes with a sigh, a certain amount of the edge melting away as he took a deep breath. His head bowed slowly and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Busted. 

"I know..." He whispered. He lifted his head, nibbling gently on his bottom lip. It was then it all made sense to Oliver. This was worry. "I had my check up last week. Doctor Hanover said he was seeing you this week and I..." He tailed off, trying to find the right words. "I didn't have the heart to tell him we weren't together anymore." He concluded with a shrug. "I'm sorry, I should have said."

Oliver's lips split slowly into a grin, shaking his head with a soft chuckle. 

"It's fine." He smiled, stepping back towards the younger man. His hand reached out instinctively to touch him, but he pulled it back, not wanting to appear too familiar. "He asked after you today." He paused, letting the words hang in the air. "I didn't have the heart to tell him either."

Connor's eyes sparkled, his cheeks dimpling as his lips curved into a grin.

"Well I'm looking forward to that awkward conversation next time then." He chuckled, some of the anxiety and tension dissipating. "I'm guessing that's not why you asked me over though? To tell me the Consultant asked after me?" He added, lips twisting into that trademark cocky smirk. The one that had the ability to turn Oliver to putty in his hands. It still did.

The older man pressed his lips together, wringing his hands together awkwardly as he fidgeted gently from foot to foot. The next bit was so simple. and yet a wave of uncertainty washed over him. Doubt flooding his body. What if he'd misjudged the situation? Overestimated the importance. What if Connor just didn't care? Oliver had made this decision to go it alone after all, and part of that involved walking this path solo. Maybe all of this was just incredibly selfish on his part. 

"I didn't know who to call..." He stuttered, knotting his fingers together as his eyes darted to the floor, cheeks burning slightly. Words fell from his mouth at a rate of knots, speed increasing as he became less and less convinced that he'd made the right decision. "And I know I can't keep relying on you because I made this decision, but I had no one else to talk to about it and you were the only one I knew who would understand so I just..." 

"Ollie!" Connor cut in with a panicked smirk. His voice was harsh, yet there was a certain kindness to it. "It's fine!" He whispered reassuringly. "Just... tell me?"

His hazel eyes sparkled as his face tried to hide his anguish, but Oliver was wise to it. He could see the hesitation and concern a mile off. 

"I'm undetectable." He grinned, the words feeling like an even bigger achievement as he spoke them. The last six months had been the climb, and here he was, finally at the summit, staring into the eyes of the one person he knew he'd never had made it this far without. 

Connor had been his rock. An invaluable source of comfort and determination, and regardless of how their relationship stood in the here and now, what had preceded this moment was all part of the journey. How Connor had held him the day he was diagnosed, when he'd all but convinced himself the younger man would turn on his heel and walk straight back out the door. How he'd never let it be a question of 'if' he could live with it, just accepted it unflinchingly as a part of who Oliver was, like it was no different to the glasses on his face, or the birthmark on his right buttcheek. How he'd got himself prescribed with Truvada without a need for discussion. Connor was the one who'd sat with him as the initial side effects of his antiretrovirals took their toll. The one who'd cooked for him, cleaned the house, even cleaned him when he had to, and never once expected reward or recompense. Connor had just loved him, unconditionally, when he needed him.

Connor's stoic expression gave way to something brighter. His eyes lit up as his lips curved into an expression somewhere close to ecstatic. 

"Are you serious?!" He beamed, a small hint of disbelief thrown into the mix. "I had no idea it would be this quick?!" He yelped. "My god, I'm so fucking happy for you!".

He swept in, his arms wrapping tightly around Oliver, chin hooking on his shoulder, the older man taken aback by the exuberance of the gesture. Connor had never been a hugger, but this was filled with genuine sincerity and affection, the likes of which Oliver had never truly believed he was capable of. Warmth exuded from Connor's body, and Oliver craved the closeness, hands sliding up his ex's back, pulling him in tighter. 

"Thank you." He whispered gently into the other man's ear. "I never would have made it without you."

Connor pulled back slowly, eyes shining with unbridled love, a splash of uncertainty bubbling on the surface as he hesitated mere centimetres from Oliver's face, breath ghosting over his lips.

He leant in, the kiss so soft and gentle, yet hungry and needy, his fingers sliding around the other man's jaw as he caressed his cheek, pulling him close, closing the remaining space between them.The taste of cheap coffee tinged with a hint of cigarette smoke lingered on Connor's tongue, not that it came as a surprise to Oliver that the younger man was smoking again. In fact after the last few weeks between them he just hoped that was the worst habit he'd fallen back into. 

Oliver made no attempt to stop it, something he knew later he'd curse himself for, but for now he was content in allowing himself to pretend that all of this was normal, even if just temporarily. It had been weeks since he'd felt any form of intimacy, and whilst he accepted that it was in part his decision, he still missed that feeling of skin on skin.

It was Connor who broke away first, stepping backwards, hands held up in surrender, eyes to the floor. Oliver hoped he was the only one to hear the dissapointed mewl that escaped his lips.

"Sorry..." Connor growled, his hands rubbing at his face, hiding his embarrassment. "Sorry, that was dumb... I just... Caught in the moment." He spluttered, pacing back and forth. "I can't believe I even fucked this up." He groaned.

Oliver couldn't hear anymore, stepping forwards, crowding his body against Connor’s, pressing his lips forcefully against his as his palms slid against the roughness of the younger man's unruly beard. It was the longest he'd grown it in a long time and Oliver tried to ignore the whiskers tickling his nose as he deepened the kiss further, lust taking over. He put aside thoughts of mixed messages, safe in the knowledge that right now, this was exactly what he wanted.

Connor melted into him, his body relaxing as his fingers tentatively slid across Oliver's hips, pulling their bodies flush as he rested them in the small of the other man's back. Their tongues danced together effortlessly with passion and need, as if making up for lost time, moving with speed as if both knew this might only be a temporary reunion.

Oliver tried to ignore the stirring in Connor’s pants, the telltale signs of a semi grinding against his thigh as he willed his own excitement to be kept at bay for just a little longer. All the moments in their past came flooding back to him. Kisses on the couch and chaste pecks on the lips. Bundling Connor into the doorway, or into the kitchen wall. Soapy hands and guilty consciences. Maybe he was an idiot to think this wasn't what he wanted forever. Maybe he was being blind to keep looking when he'd already found what he was looking for. It all felt so right that he was struggling to remember exactly what it had been that had made him think it was so wrong. Being in Connor's arms felt so scary, and yet somehow still the safest place in the world.

Oliver came back down to earth as he felt fingers slipping into his waistband, tugging clumsily on the flies. A kiss was one thing, but Oliver knew if he let it go further it would just blur the lines even further. For all the doubts he was having, he didn't want to rush so he pulled back, breaking contact again.

"No..." He whispered, wrapping a hand around Connor's, preventing him access. "Not now."

Connor's face fell, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He nodded silently, swallowing down his obvious disappointment as he stepped away again.

"No, you're right." He sighed, looking away, pacing back and forth. " I should go." He muttered, grabbing his bag from the floor and throwing it quickly over his shoulder. Oliver wasn't quite sure if this was the result of anger or disappointment.

"No!" Oliver stepped towards him again, making sure to keep a distance. "Don't go." He pleaded, not wanting to be alone again so soon. "We could have a few drinks?" He suggested hopefully.

Connor's lips twinged with the hint of a smirk as he shook his head. 

"I don't think adding alcohol into the mix is the best idea right now, do you?" 

The two men stood awkwardly silent, allowing the implication to hang in the air, neither sure what to say or do next. It was barely a minute yet felt closer to ten before Connor stepped in, pressing a chaste kiss to the other man's forehead. 

"I'll see you tomorrow." He sighed, turning on his heel and making to the door, stopping feet away before turning back slowly. "I know how much this means to you, Ollie" He whispered gently, hand playing with the door knob. "And I'm always going to be here if you need to talk."

Oliver opened his mouth to reply yet no words came out. His heart wanted to beg him to stay, tell him he was sorry, and plead for another chance yet his head was overwhelmingly telling him Connor was right. He took a deep breath and let his head win.

"Thank you." Oliver mumbled bashfully, sighing as Connor pulled the door back, watching him walk away yet again.

"Oh, and Oliver?" He turned back in the doorway with that smirk all too prominent across his face yet again. "I told you I could be a grown up" He smiled triumphantly, letting the door slam shut in his own face.

Oliver stood , staring at the closed door as he chuckled under his breath, pretty certain there would now never be a time he didn't love that man. A grown up? Maybe. An asshole, absolutely. But at least it was progress.


End file.
